Some people are good at change and even embrace it, but for others, the word “change” can cause heart palpitations and weak knees in even the toughest person. Why is that? I think it’s because we tend to focus on the “what-ifs”: What if lose my job and can’t pay my mortgage and become homeless? What if I change jobs and don’t make enough money and/or get fired or laid-off in the first 90 days and can’t pay my mortgage and become homeless? What if I buy a new house and don’t like my new neighbors and then I’m stuck? Let me rephrase my previous statement: I think it’s because we tend to focus on the negative “what-ifs”. For example, how much better is this dialogue with yourself: What if I change jobs and make more than I’m making now and can afford a new house? What if I get fired or lad-off and find a new job that is a so much better fit for me that I get promoted in the first 90 days? What if I move and my new neighbors are as good or better than the ones I have now?
I know for me, change can be especially anxiety-producing if the change is being forced upon me or it’s outside of my control. Like a job-change, for example. I think this is why the Serenity Prayer asks for “serenity to accept the things I cannot change”. I also submit that the word “change” in that part of the prayer can be substituted with the word “control”. It does require serenity (i.e. peace) to accept things that impact us over which we have no control. It is scary and humbling to admit that we are not in control of everything. But again, we do have control over our thoughts and actions and we can use those to change our outlook and, in effect, our reality.